


Matt Severide and Kelly Casey

by alwayswantedtobeawriter



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Best Friends, Concerned Severide, Drama, Emotional Baggage, Family Drama, First Kiss, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Sad Casey, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayswantedtobeawriter/pseuds/alwayswantedtobeawriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey is acting like Severide and Severide wants to know why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> What you need to know:
> 
> \- This is my second story, again just for Casey and Severide. I tried to write a mysterious, not overdramatic but sad, sometimes funny and dark fanfiction, like the first one. Not a sci-fi this time.:P :D  
> \- Sometimes its Casey's pov, sometimes Severide's pov. I hope everything is clear.  
> \- Sorry for the begining, I wrote it after watching the world news but it's also connected to Casey's mood, that you will learn its reason later.  
> \- It's sometime after Dawsey break up in season 3.  
> \- All mistakes are mine. My English is not that good.  
> \- I know what I want to do with this , % 65 ready but to be honest not sure how exactly to finish. So we will see...
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it. Happy reading!
> 
> ********

Matt Casey had always tried to see the good side of the world and people. He had always known the right words to say at the right time and always believed that time would heal everything. However, right now sitting in a bar in the middle of the night alone and drinking with his darkest thoughts, he wasn't sure what to believe anymore. _Time heals everything? One of the biggest lies people ever told._ If that was right, history wouldn't repeat itself and the world would be in peace. Everybody would love and try to help each other. No… Time actually was just passing and people were pretending to forget until something reminded them the past. Sometimes he was thinking the world would be a better place without people, or without him at least, now he was sure. He was tired of trying. Every time he thought the things were getting well, something bad was happening. Every time he believed in people, they were destroying it. Maybe he was the problem, he was cursed. Maybe it wasn't about him at all and he was just being dramatic. All he knew was he was feeling miserable and nothing was gonna change it any time soon.

The bartender, who was watching him carefully, cut his chain of thoughts. “That bad?”

“Do you have something stronger? ” Casey asked, showing his empty glass.

“I have, but I think you've had enough for tonight dude. You want coffee?”

Casey took his head between his hands and he almost cursed. He hadn’t gone to Molly's because for once he wanted to get drunk alone, but now this random dude wasn't letting him do it.

“Ok…” He said, and gave him some money. He didn't even count. He was gonna go somewhere else then. However, there was one problem. He couldn't even get up. He had totally lost his balance and giggled. It was the moment he had decided he must have been really drunk. He was feeling miserable and yet was laughing at himself. The last time he was drunk like that, he was with Severide. He and Dawson had a huge fight and…

 “Hey…”

Once again someone was cutting his thoughts and it pissed him off. He was gonna yell or something, if he could get up. Then he saw who he was.

“Sev? What are you doing here? ”

“He told me you are here.” Severide said, pointing the bartender.

The guy saw Casey's confusion. “I took your car keys and phone after the fifth glass, remember?” 

“You did?” Casey couldn't remember. He was officially drunk then.

“Thank you for taking care of him, man. I am taking him home.” Severide said, trying to find out why Casey was acting like him lately. He had disappeared after shift without saying a word and he hadn't seen Casey since then. He wasn't even answering his calls. Thankfully the bartender had his phone. He took back Casey’s keys and phone and helped him to get up.

 “Come on Casey. We are going home.”

It was raining outside. He held Casey's arms because Casey was having a hard time standing still while walking. Casey leaned on him. Severide was dying to know to learn what was going on in Casey's mind, but his priority was to get their asses in the car before they get drowned in the rain.

“Where is my car? I can't remember.” Casey asked when finally they reached Severide's car.

“We are taking my car, not yours.”

Severide was sure the rest would be easy. They would go home, he would ask what happened. Casey would insist he was fine, but he would keep asking. Casey would finally give up and the mystery would be solved. He would talk to him as his friend and everything would be normal again. Right? He was sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is why Casey isn't in himself. I hope everything is clear and you guys like what I did at the begining :P :)

“Severide?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever do this before?”

“No. But I know the basic. I saw how they do it a few times.”

“So, you have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Casey, just close your eyes and relax! It’s not gonna hurt, I will be quick.”

“I am just messing with you! I am all yours, do whatever you want.”

“I think we need to switch positions first.”

“Ok… You are sweating by the way.”

“I know. We definitely both need a cold shower. Ok, hold on. It’s coming.”

“Oh my…”

“Don’t move. Is that hurt?”

“Yeah but not that much. It feels good actually. You’re good.”

“I told you so!”

“Your hands are soft really.”

“Stop talking.”

Severide took a deep breath and focused on his job. Nothing had gone as easy as he thought after finding Casey in that bar. They were at home finally; both exhausted, dirty and wet. Some of their clothes were lying on the floor. It was a long day and the night hasn’t ended yet.

Casey has been watching him with guilty eyes. He saw a purple spot on Severide’s cheek. It was all his fault. The last thing he needed today was to hurt Severide like this. He knew it was all accident, but it wasn’t helping. He reached and touched his face gently.

“Does that hurt?”

Severide wasn’t expecting that. Actually Casey’s touch was making him feel good, but he wasn’t gonna think about it right now. It wasn’t the right time. He just laughed.

“Did you even look at yourself in the mirror? You look like hell.”

Casey’s left eye was swollen and there was a little scar above his brow. It was all because of the rain. While Severide was trying to find his car keys, Casey had slipped and brought down Severide with him. Somehow they had managed to hurt themselves. It was funny actually; two grown ass man, looking like a drowned rat, were sitting on the wet floor. Casey was laughing at first, mostly because he was drunk. Severide would’ve been laughing with him normally, if he hadn’t seen Casey was bleeding. He had insisted to go to a hospital, but as always, Casey was sure he was ok. Finally, after a little argument, he had convinced him to treat it at home.

“Done. Now put that ice pack on your eye and take some aspirin.”

“Ok, Doctor.”

At last, they collapsed on the couch. They went silent and lost in thoughts. The only noise in the room was their breathing. Severide saw Casey’s eyes were closing slowly. He knew if he didn’t ask now, it could take forever to get him to talk with a clear head. He was stubborn as him. Feeling a bit guilty for taking advantage of him, he got the courage to talk.

“So… What happened? Talk to me.”

Casey gave him a short glance with his sleepy eyes. “Nothing… Just wanted to get drunk.”

Severide pushed. “Come on. You know you can’t fool me. Just tell me. You won’t even remember what you said tomorrow probably. Also, after what happened tonight, I think I deserve some answers.”

Casey was gonna say again that it was nothing and he was fine, but he knew he was gonna ask again. In that moment, he realized he didn’t have any strength to fight back in his system. He was gonna learn soon or later, so he gave up. He almost whispered right before drifting off to sleep, leaving Severide shocked.

“Mom… She is dead. And I think it is all my fault.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit slow chapter. Things will get faster in the next chapter. I will probably post it tomorrow. Enjoy!
> 
> ******

Casey woke up with a headache. He was on his bed, only wearing his tank-top and boxer. And his socks? He had a feeling that he needed to do something very important but what? He got up and sat on the edge of the bed. His left eye was hurting a little. As soon as he touched it, the reality hit him. Everything came back; the call from CPD, his mother’s death, drinking in a bar and then Severide… He wished it was just a bad dream but no, this was real. He had to deal with it. Just like the old times; his dad, Andy, Hallie… Jones and Shay… It was tragic and terrifying that none of them had died because of natural causes. Bad memories were flooding in his head. _Drink, sleep and never wake up_ , his brain ordered. All he needed was to stop thinking. He wasn’t feeling ready to face the world yet.

Severide’s voice got him back to the present. He was standing at the door, watching Casey carefully.

“Hey… Good morning.” Actually it wasn’t a good morning at all. They both knew it. After a glance duel, Severide gave in first.

“How much do you remember last night?”

Casey was confused. “Almost everything unfortunately… Except, I have no idea how I came to my bed and why I’m still wearing my socks. I hate to sleep with socks.”

“That would be my fault. I carried you to bed. You were really heavy by the way.”

“Thanks.” Casey took his eyes away from Severide and watched the floor. He was tense.

“So sorry for your mom. I don’t know what to say.”

Casey wasn’t sure how much Severide knew. He remembered he was talking to him, but it was fuzzy like a dream.

“Yeah, me too. CPD called me yesterday. Apparently she was shot after a fight.”

He hesitated and swallowed. “Just like my dad.”

Severide was thinking things couldn’t get any worse. Of course he was damn wrong.

“It’s not your fault. You know that right?” He knew he was talking cliché, but he also knew sometimes people needed to hear it from someone else that it wasn’t their fault.

Casey tried to smile. He was grateful for Severide’s effort to make him feel better.

“Yeah… Thanks. Anyway I guess I am gonna take a shower first. The police needs to do some police stuff, then I need to arrange the funeral. I also need to call Boden. So if you excuse me…”

His eyes were pleading for Severide to stop asking more. Severide had a million questions in his mind, but it was obvious Casey wasn’t ready to talk about it more for now.

“I am really sorry man. I am here if there is anything I can do. I want to help.”

After last night, Casey knew there was no point of trying to hide his feelings. It was time to be honest, Severide had deserved that. They had known each other for a long time and had been through a lot. Besides he didn’t want to pretend like he was ok, not any more. It was exhausting.

“Listen… I will let you know if I need you, ok? I promise. You are gonna be late for shift and I need some time alone.”

“I can talk to Boden at least, if you want…” Severide tried one last time.

“Actually that would be good. I appreciate it.”

They shared a look and Severide left him there thinking alone, unwillingly. There wasn’t anything he could do in that moment. He made some coffee and got ready for shift. It was gonna be a long day. As soon as he got 51, he talked to Boden, then everyone else. They were shocked and asking for details.

The next few days went by quickly becausue of the funeral, lots of phone calls and lots of visitors. The only missing person was Casey’s sister. Severide was hoping Casey and Christie would comfort each other, but she was nowhere to be seen. Apparently their broken family were broken more. He wanted to believe Casey was gonna get through this, but something in Casey’s eyes was telling him that it wouldn’t be that easy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some action, maybe a bit too fast, but they can't just sit and think forever. Also it is really hard to write something when both main characters are the same gender. I keep saying he said that, he did that but can't be sure if it is understood who is who LOL. Anyway enjoy!
> 
> ******

It was almost a week after the funeral, Casey still wasn’t talking that much. He had asked Boden for extra days off. He was drinking a lot and not have been shaving. He was spending most of his time at home. A few days ago, suddenly he had decided that the kitchen was old and started to restore the cabinets. At first Severide hadn’t said a word, he was giving him some space, but that was crazy and he made sure Casey knows that.

“That’s crazy.”

 It was late night, they were having a drink at Molly’s. It was Severide’s idea. He actually wasn’t happy to see Casey drinking again, but it was the only way to remove his ass from the couch.

“I know. It just helps me to keep my mind busy.”

“Then come back to work. I know you blame yourself.”

Casey sighed. “Christie blames me for her death. She thinks our mum would have been safe in prison and I shouldn' have insisted to get her out. I can’t stop thinking about my dad, Andy and Hallie since then. I am having some dark thoughts. I can’t come back to work like this.” He said abruptly.

His honesty took Severide off guard. Finally Casey was telling him more.

“You should talk to someone. Chaplain maybe…”

“Sev… Already talking to you now, right? Believe or not, it helps. Besides I don’t think he can help, this isn’t something related to the job. It’s about my whole life.”

If they weren’t in a serious shit, Severide would tell him that how he liked to hear him calling ‘Sev’ but he shouldn’t have thought about it now, Casey was confiding in. That was exactly how he had felt after Andy and Shay’s death. Casey knew it perfectly, probably it was why he was being honest with him. What would he say now, _everything is gonna be fine_? Casey didn’t need a lecture. He just took a sip of his beer and raised his glass. What he needs was just a friend who listens and understands him.

“Cheers then! Life sucks and we are doomed.”

Things took a better turn after that night. They were talking less, doing more. One day they were working in the kitchen, the other day they were boxing or jogging together. Casey still wasn’t thinking about going back to work, on the other hand he was smiling more and drinking less. It was a huge development.

The funny thing is Severide was feeling the same too. He was happier and relaxed. The guys in 51 were joking about if he was getting laid or something a lot. So when he said “No” to a hot girl he rescued, they were convinced Severide was dating someone. He had told them they were wrong but nobody had believed him. That was when Severide started to realize. It was about Casey. He knew deep inside that he has developed something more than friendly towards him and he had no idea what to do with this info. If he talks to him, it could end their friendship. If he does nothing, he would go crazy.

The morning after a sleepless night he made a decision. He needed some answers and the only way was talking to Casey. He was so nervous. There was an hour to his shift. They hadn’t have a breakfast yet. Casey was taking a shower and he had stayed there longer than usual. Where was he, lost in the hole? He sat on the sofa and started fidgeting. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to talk. He was losing his nerve. A shadow broke his thoughts. It was Casey and he had a surprise.

“How do I look?” He asked half-joking half serious. He was standing between him and tv, wearing only a robe but that wasn’t the case. He had no beard. He had been shaved finally.

Severide smirked. He was feeling hot suddenly. “Welcome back lieutenant. It was about time! How long had it been, more than two weeks?”

Casey smiled back and joined Severide on the sofa without taking his eyes off him.

“You look good.” Severide said. The scars on his face were completely healed. His eyes were shining for the first time since the incident, he almost looked like he was flirting with him. Severide thought that he was just being delusional because of his feelings. What else it could be?  

Casey’s ringing phone cut their moment. Severide was again lost in thoughts only hearing _blah_ _blahs_ while he was on the phone. He wasn’t paying attention to it at first. Then something happened. Casey said “I love you too. See you tomorrow. Bye.” before ending the call. Severide lost all his courage. Casey had a date? Dawson? He was feeling so stupid.

“So you have a date?”

“Well… Something like that.”

Casey thought he had heard a bit jealousy in his voice. It was cute actually. He was getting some different vibes from Severide recently. He had wanted to talk about it a few times, but first he needed to figure himself. Yeah, he was so lucky to have a friend like him, they were having a great time together. But what if they had more? He had gotten stuck in that idea lately. He was his best friend, also a ladies’ man. It shouldn’t have happened.

“Did I ever tell you about the hot lady I rescued the other day? She asked me to go out.” Severide said out of the blue.

Casey didn’t say a word first. Was Severide trying to tell him something? He scratched back of his neck. “What did you do?”

“I said no.” Severide said, shrugging.

Some awkward silence and a few glances later Casey couldn’t take it anymore and did something unexpected. He closed the gap between them and stopped right before their lips come together. Severide didn’t even move a muscle. Casey took it as a good sign. He tilted his head and kissed him softly. He wasn’t sure when or how it happened exactly, but all he knew that he wanted him so badly at that moment.

Severide was too shocked to respond. Casey had barely touched him, but yet he was feeling hot. After hesitating a few seconds, he kissed him back. Casey’s lips were soft and his scent was seductive. It was better than he imagined. He pulled him closer running his hands through his hair and neck. They stayed like that until gasping for air. They pulled apart to breathe.

“That was hot,” Casey said smirking. “What now?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some action and confessions! Well, I tried to keep it natural. Because I didn't want our guys to turn into a sudden porn stars. I hope you guys like it! :P
> 
> *******

Severide was feeling nervous a bit. Not because he had doubts or something. He just still couldn’t believe what was happening. Casey and him were standing in the middle of his bedroom. Their kiss in the sofa had become intense and the rest had just happened spontaneously.

“I never did this with a guy before.” he said in a low voice, almost brushing his lips to Casey’s ear.

 “Me neither.” Casey said. Maybe something in him had just changed after some bad experiences with women. Maybe his mother’s death had triggered something in him. Maybe there was a hidden side of him had been waiting to come out. Maybe he was playing for both teams or maybe he was just fucking gay all this time and hadn’t realized it. He didn’t care,  he was getting impatient.

Severide snuggled up more, leaving a quick kiss on his neck. Somehow they found themselves in the bed without breaking anything. Casey pushed him down gently. The only thing he wore was his bathrobe. It took just two seconds to strip. He looked down at Severide, totally naked and hardened. Severide felt his own member awakening. He really had to get rid of his clothes, otherwise he was gonna explode! Casey saw that. He started to undress him. First he unbuttoned his shirt and then unzipped his jean. When it came to take off his tightening pants, he did it slowly just to tease him.

Severide wanted to make a stupid joke at that moment, but Casey stopped him. He bent down, like he was doing push-ups and put his mouth on his. He kissed him hard, pressing his chest and groin against his.

Severide welcomed him with open mouth. After wrestling a little, he took the control. He flipped him on his side. He ran his fingers down his body, from his abbs to his crotch and grabbed it. He started to stroke. He was gentle at first. Up and down... Up and down… He watched Casey’s face while doing it. Damn, he was so hot! Casey was breathing heavily, like he was trying to drive him crazy. It worked, Severide’s hands were speeded up.

Casey moaned, feeling both pain and pleasure. He was about to reach nirvana and he didn’t need Buddha for that. His whole body shuddered and yeah, he finally made it. He almost collapsed, but it was worth it. He looked at Severide, he was sweating and panting too, just like him. He could see he was on the edge. It didn’t take that long for him to join in the party.

“That was…”.

“Yeah I know.”

They had to clean. The sheets were also messed but they didn’t care. They were laying on their back, shoulders touching. They stayed like that without moving, for a while. Neither wanted to leave the bed. Neither felt awkward either. Like they had done this before… Like they know they would do it again…

“You are gonna be late for shift. Boden is gonna kill you.”

“I know that too.”

Yeah, Severide knew that, but how was he supposed to get up and work after everything? He was naked on the bed. With Casey! That was unexpectedly amazing. He had just realized he had a crush on him for longer than he thought.

“When did you realize you like me?” He asked Casey. He was curious.

Casey wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, not sure honestly… Always find you hot and more since I met you. It just happened. What about you?”

Severide sighed. “Remember when you hit Griffin at the academy? You were so upset. And hot of course… I remember I tried a few tricks to make you smile with Darden’s help but you were really stubborn. I can see it now, I had wanted more than your friendship then.”

Casey turned his head to see Severide’s face. Their eyes were connected. He was serious. Also so cute and fucking gorgeus… God, he really liked him.  More than he thought.

“It was my niece Violet on the phone by the way. Not a date.” He said, because he wanted to make sure Severide knows there was nothing to get jealous.  

Severide didn’t understand what he was talking about first, although it had happened just half an hour ago. Then it clicked. He had been worried about for nothing?

“Huh.. I thought...”

“Yeah, I know.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy! I almost finished, you will see there is just one problem left in the end.
> 
> *******

It was a slow night at the station. Everyone, except Severide, was sleeping and snoring in every way possible. Severide had recorded their noises on his phone to show Casey. He was gonna love it! It was his way of telling Casey that he loved him. The past week was like a dream. They explored each other more, both physically and mentally. They talked about the things they never did before. He told Casey how he had been scared to be like his father after Darden’s death, living with anger and no trust. Casey told what his mother told about the day she killed his father and how he was afraid to face the future. Casey was feeling a bit better actually, especially after meeting his niece. He and Christie were talking again, she was sad for what she had said before. However for some reason, he still wasn’t talking about coming back to work and Severide wasn’t asking about it. It was the calm before the storm, Severide could feel it. Casey was just keeping himself busy with some construction jobs around the neighbourhood and he wasn’t asking about it because he was afraid of breaking Casey’s good mood.

That was one of the reasons why he hadn’t been able to sleep. They were spending all their time together after the shift, but yet here he was thinking of him at his quarters in the middle of the night. His shifts were passing slower day by day. He was having a hard time to forget Casey, when they weren’t together. Playing poker, washing the truck, reading, training, even cooking… It wasn’t working. Dreaming about Casey’s wet lips on his body, taste of his mouth, his soft skin under his fingers… _Damn it!_ he thought, _here is another reason for not sleeping_. He had no idea he had an ability to become a love puppy like this. _Oh no_ , now he was hallucinating. Casey was standing at his door, hands in his pockets. Then it was true, love really was making people crazy, also add some lack of sleep to that and TA-DA! Hallucinative Casey!

“Hey…” Wait, Casey was talking. He got up and took a better look. It was really him.

“Casey? What are you doing here?” He asked with excitement, in a low voice.

“I am just here to steal a kiss.” Casey said cockily.

Severide loved his answer. “I guess I am not the only one having trouble sleeping.”

Casey just shrugged. He closed the door and the blinders, hoping that no one saw him. They needed to be careful. They had decided to keep it as a secret. So, coming to see Severide where everyone was just one step away was really a wise move at keeping their secret. He wasn't here because he was a wise man anyway. He was just in love. He held Severide's hands. He breathed him in first, leaving his hot breath on his neck. Then pressed his lips to his slowly, pushing his tongue into his wet mouth.

Severide tilted his head more, invited him deeper. He had imagined this whole night, he wouldn’t let him go easily. He knew what he wanted. They both knew. He started to unbutton Casey’s shirt between the kisses. It felt amazing to touch his tight muscles and smooth skin. He had managed to lose his own shirt too, with Casey’s help. He pressed his body more against him, smashing their thighs hard together. God, his member in his pants was on fire. He could feel Casey’s boner against his dammit!

“Somebody’s defienetly gonna hear us.” He said, breaking their kiss.

Casey squeezed his strong arms. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. Their muscles were crashing each other, slipping from the sweat. He looked down at Severide’s bulge.

“Are we really gonna talk about it now?” He had already started to unbuckle Severide’s belt without really waiting for him to talk.

Severide kissed him again as an answer. He sucked his lips, tasted him deeper and more. He believed that he could do it forever. Casey’s mouth moved to his neck. From his neck to his chest… Then further down, down and down… He pulled his pants off. Severide felt his hot breath against his exposed boner. After licking  slowly, Casey opened his mouth and finally went for it. Severide almost cried, closing his eyes. He saw the stars. Feeling Casey licking and sucking him like this… It was beyond words. He had done it with many women before, but it was different with Casey. He wished he had known this feeling before. So he was gay all this time? Or just gay for him… He didn’t know. He stroked Casey’s soft hair, moaning. He had lost the track of time. How long were they standing here like this? He could feel he was so close to come.  

“Wait…” He said. Casey took the message. He pulled back. He was smirking.

Severide helped him to get up. They were chest to chest. “Just here to steal a kiss huh?”

He was trying to calm his body down, but it was really hard to do it while Casey was just a few inches away. He couldn’t keep his hands off Casey.

“I can help you with that if you want…” He said squeezing Casey’s bulge. Why Casey was still wearing his pants? That wasn’t fair.

“I think we should stop for now. Also I gotta go before someone realizes.” Casey loved the idea, but really they had to control themselves. Even so, he wasn’t regretting anything. Severide nodded.

Unwillingly they put their clothes back on and sat on the bed side by side to catch their breath. They enjoyed the silence a bit. Severide wondered if that was the right time to ask Casey to come back to work. Casey was one of the bests and he was wasting his time.

“Stop thinking and just tell me what’s in your mind.” Casey said like he read his mind. Severide took a deep breath. Soon or later they had to talk about it. He opened his mouth and…

_[Alarms went off!] Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61…_

Damn, he couldn’t believe his luck. Then he felt guilty. Someone needed help. He rose from the bed. _Sorry_ , he wanted to say, but once again Casey knew.

He heard Casey saying “Good luck.” behind him, right before he left.

Neither knew he would really need it then. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. Thanks to everyone who read this. Special thanks to who left kudos and gave their time for feedback in the comments. Sevasey fandom is great! 
> 
> Plot holes, ridiculous expressions, stupid descriptions, spelling errors, grammar mistakes... All mine...
> 
> I hope to write more wtihout drama, next time. Enjoy reading!
> 
> ********

Severide had always thought he was gonna die on duty while trying to save people, as a hero. It was part of his job and he wasn’t afraid of dying. That was what he had believed at least, before catching a glimpse of a life with Casey. Yeah, still he wasn’t afraid to die, that wasn’t the problem. He had just realized he wasn’t ready to give up, not today, not like this. Unfortunately the cracking walls around him wasn’t on the same page with him. He was trapped in a small dressing room with no windows, on the third floor. What kind of a house was that? He was gonna kill the builder, if he could survive. The exit was blocked by a huge part of the ceiling, the house was literally falling into pieces. The smoke and the flames were eating up everything on the way, not letting anyone get inside or go out. The stairs were useless, the rest of the ceiling was about to give in. Just half an hour ago, he was in Casey’s arms, thinking how the life was great and now he was about to die. At least the family was safe. Also, he was glad Casey wasn’t there with him. He was trying to console himself, but it wasn't working. Boden’s faint voice on the radio interrupted his thoughts.

“Chief? I can’t hear anything. I don’t think I have much time.” He sighed. His last words maybe, so that was it? It could be his last minutes alive. What was he gonna do? Cry? Pray? Nothing seemed right.

He heard Boden’s voice again. Except, it wasn’t faint this time. It wasn’t Boden either! Somebody was calling his name. Somebody was inside? How?

“Severide?”

“Hey, here!” He shouted.

Someone approached him crouching. He was holding an axe. He couldn’t see who he was, the smoke was everywhere. When he understood, his heart melted and boiled at the same time. It was Casey. He was expecting to see Cruz or Capp, even Boden, but not Casey. _Idiot_ , he thought. How stupid he was, here risking his own life to save him? He pushed back the fact that he would do the same for Casey, because that wasn’t the case. He was also mad at Boden, why did he let Casey do it?

“Get back!” Casey said. He cleared the exit enough for Severide to get out, using his axe. It was small, he needed to crawl, but it worked. Finally, he was out.

They had to be quick. Severide had no idea where to go, so he just followed Casey closely, without failing to bump his ass. Casey took him somewhere at the end of the hallway. They entered the bathroom. There was a huge hole on the wall, the guys were waiting for them outside on the ladder. Nobody said a word until their feet touched on the ground.

As soon as they were safe, Severide took off his mask. He sighed deeply, looking at the burning building. He was safe, everybody was safe. The guys were clapping on his back and congratulating him. He didn’t even move a muscle to thank, still couldn’t believe what had just happened. Then one hand squeezed his shoulder. He knew that touch. _Casey…_ Suddenly he remembered he was angry at him. Casey shouldn’t have done that, he could have killed himself. He wanted to yell but when he saw his face, when he looked into his eyes… He couldn’t do it. He forgot everything he wanted to ask. Casey was shaken. His eyes were teary. Without caring where he was, he hugged him tightly. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it to comfort him or himself. He needed to feel him alive, he needed to be sure it was real. When finally he felt Casey’s hands embracing him, he knew everything was gonna be alright.

It was like time had stopped around them. Everyone was watching, but nobody wanted to break the special bond they had.

“You shouldn’t have done that. You could have died.” Severide said, trying to be angry.

Once again Casey surprised him with his honesty. He was doing it a lot lately. “It doesn’t matter. If something had happened to you, I was already done.”

Severide opened his mouth to tell something, then closed. Everything he said would be pointless. He just hugged him tighter.

Casey buried his face against his neck. He started to cry quietly. He cried for his parents and his lost childhood. He cried for Darden, Hallie, Shay, Jones and all the people he couldn’t save. He cried for every failure he had and every opportunity he missed. He fucking cried for everyone feeling like him. And finally for Severide being ok there with him…

A few weeks ago he was sure he had lost his connection with the life, but right now there it was, he was hugging him. Yeah, he wasn’t feeling entirely ready to face everyone yet. He wasn’t feeling good enough to get back to work either. Maybe he didn’t need to. Maybe it was exactly how he was supposed to feel. He felt a great relief at the exact moment. He had a limit like everyone else, he was free to feel depressed, but life was going on and he knew he was gonna be fine.

He broke the hug. “I am gonna talk to Boden. I want to come back.”

Severide gave his best smile, like it was the best news he had ever heard.

“Welcome back, lieutenant.”


End file.
